Strictly Come Dancing is battling head-to-head with X Factor 2014, and who will win? It’s up to the viewers of course, and the evidence so far leans toward… well they are about even. Strictly Come Dancing started out on top, but X Factor caught up and went ahead. But the most recent figures have shown Strictly edging ahead again. Only time will tell who will win this huge ratings game. These are the two most popular shows in Britain.
In TV terms it’s bigger than David vs Goliath, Obama vs Isis and Mary Berry vs baked Alaska put together.
On one side stands a perma-tanned megalomaniac able to crush people’s dreams with one withering remark, on the other a perma-tanned collection of c-list celebrities hoping to make the leap to the B-list by prancing around to the rhumba in Lycra.
And this weekend they’ll go head-to-head for two nights running as the X-Factor takes on Strictly Come Dancing in the latest bruising battle for viewers.
First blood went to the preening ballroom troupe earlier this month when the Strictly launch show garnered 600,000 more viewers than Simon Cowell’s Victorian karaoke freak show.
It seemed that all the heartbreaking back stories in the world and return or Wor Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini-Byker-Grove – couldn’t defeat the horrifying sight of Judy Murray being manhandled around a dance floor by a sad-eyed Anton Du Beke.
But it was a short-lived, Pyrrhic, victory.
When all the catch-up views were factored into the final reckoning, the smile was definitely back on Cowell’s blindingly white mouth-hole as the X Factor crept back into the lead.
Somewhere, 758-year-old former Strictly host Bruce Forsyth shed a secret smile.
The battle truly begins in earnest tonight though as the dancing, elimination rounds begin on BBC1’s flagship autumn show while ITV’s Cowell and co get down to the nitty gritty, first with the indecipherable six chairs round – which is effectively a game of musical chairs only with rubbish music – and then the judges’ houses round.
The fact that the houses on show aren’t really the judges houses – you can tell because there’s no sign of a dungeon around at Louis’ place – doesn’t matter a jot.
It’s the illusion of what instant success and fame can bring that counts.
Having had a good laugh at all the delusional weirdos who are as likely to become pop stars as Abu Qatada, the X Factor can now get down to the real business of finding someone able to carry a cover album of Westlife songs for Mother’s Day before being unceremoniously dump by his/her/their record label next June.
Strictly Come Dancing vs. X Factor 2014: Who will win? It depends on you of course. Tell us which show you prefer and why in the comments section My favourite is no mystery — I really enjoy the X Factor auditions and climax to the final victory song, but perhaps that’s because I’m a musician. I don’t dance, I play. Music that is…